When you say you’ve written a book, some people respond not by saying congratulations but instead by saying they could do it too (if they so chose). This can be a disappointing reaction for a first time author just wanting to bask in a little glory. So why does this happen? Why do some people feel they can't offer a warm congratulations without blowing their own trumpet?
Probably the most common reason is because writing is widely misunderstood as an easy or casual pursuit. The majority of the population engage with books only as readers, not as creators, so they greatly underestimate the time, discipline, and skill required to finish one. From the outside, the work is invisible, which makes the achievement feel more accessible than it actually is.
Another reason simply comes down to ego. Hearing that someone else has completed a book can trigger an unspoken comparison, and saying “I could do that too” helps level the playing field in their mind. It reframes your accomplishment as ordinary rather than exceptional, allowing them to feel less distance between where they are and what you’ve achieved.
Probably the most common reason is because writing is widely misunderstood as an easy or casual pursuit. The majority of the population engage with books only as readers, not as creators, so they greatly underestimate the time, discipline, and skill required to finish one. From the outside, the work is invisible, which makes the achievement feel more accessible than it actually is.
Another reason simply comes down to ego. Hearing that someone else has completed a book can trigger an unspoken comparison, and saying “I could do that too” helps level the playing field in their mind. It reframes your accomplishment as ordinary rather than exceptional, allowing them to feel less distance between where they are and what you’ve achieved.
For others, the comment reflects unrealised intention rather than genuine capability. Many people like the idea of writing a book and may have talked about it for years without acting on it. When confronted with someone who has actually done it, they respond by aligning themselves with the outcome rather than the process, skipping over the many hurdles and hardships as well as the actual work undertaken along the way.
There’s also a cultural tendency to merge ideas with execution. People often assume that having a story idea is equivalent to writing a book, in much the same way as someone who sings in the shower believes they could be a pop star. This way of thinking conveniently overlooks the drafting, revising, editing, and persistence involved in writing a book. Saying they could do it too collapses that long, difficult process into a single, imagined step.
Ultimately, all these reactions say more about how people relate to creativity than about your work. Finishing a book is a huge, concrete achievement, and for some, the easiest way to respond is to minimise the gap between intention and action. While it can be deflating in the moment, it is worth remembering that such comments say much more about the person making them than about you.
There’s also a cultural tendency to merge ideas with execution. People often assume that having a story idea is equivalent to writing a book, in much the same way as someone who sings in the shower believes they could be a pop star. This way of thinking conveniently overlooks the drafting, revising, editing, and persistence involved in writing a book. Saying they could do it too collapses that long, difficult process into a single, imagined step.
Ultimately, all these reactions say more about how people relate to creativity than about your work. Finishing a book is a huge, concrete achievement, and for some, the easiest way to respond is to minimise the gap between intention and action. While it can be deflating in the moment, it is worth remembering that such comments say much more about the person making them than about you.
