When my book was first published, I was attending a regular appointment and naturally enough the topic of my novel came up. While I would not consider this person to be a friend, more of an acquaintance, they had come along on the journey to publication and were familiar with the whole process. After expressing good wishes that my sales would do well, I was taken aback when they asked if they could borrow a copy of the book. “Books are just so expensive these days,” they explained. Even though at that stage I was prepared to do just about anything to get my book into the hands of any reader, I saw red at this comment. They, however, seemed to miss the irony that they were dismissing my work as “too expensive” while I was going to have to pay on my way out the door for their expertise (which could also be considered expensive).
I did briefly consider lending this person a copy but before I agreed out loud, I pulled myself up and explained that I didn’t have spare copies to lend (what did I look like, a library?) as I had to keep my own stock ready to sell (hint, hint). Each copy I gave away, I explained, was income I was not receiving. Clearly this was still not enough to convince them, as they shrugged and said they would borrow it from the library sometime.
I did briefly consider lending this person a copy but before I agreed out loud, I pulled myself up and explained that I didn’t have spare copies to lend (what did I look like, a library?) as I had to keep my own stock ready to sell (hint, hint). Each copy I gave away, I explained, was income I was not receiving. Clearly this was still not enough to convince them, as they shrugged and said they would borrow it from the library sometime.
Asking about it in an online writer’s group later, I found out I was not alone in my experience. Many writers feel pressured to give free copies of their books to family, friends, (and sometimes acquaintances), but we all agreed it was important to remember that our work has value. Writing a book takes time, effort, and often money, especially if you’ve invested in editing, cover design, or publishing costs. Just as people wouldn’t expect a friend to give away their artwork, handcrafted goods, or professional services for free, they shouldn’t expect a writer to do so either.
Giving away too many free copies can also hurt your potential sales, especially if you’re a self-published or independent author. Every book sold contributes to rankings, reviews, and word-of-mouth marketing, which are crucial for success. While it’s tempting to think that giving away books will encourage people to talk about them, the reality is that people often place more value on things they pay for. If a friend or family member is truly interested in your book, they should be willing to purchase it and support your writing career. Or at least borrow it from someone else who had purchased it.
Another reason to avoid feeling pressured is that not everyone who asks for a free copy will actually read it. Many people are simply curious or want something for free without fully appreciating the effort that went into creating it. When someone buys a book, they are more likely to read and engage with it. If you want feedback or reviews, it’s often better to provide review copies to dedicated readers or bloggers who are genuinely invested in reading and discussing your work.
It’s also important to set boundaries as a writer. If you give free copies to one person, others might expect the same treatment, and it can quickly spiral into giving away more books than you intended. Politely but firmly letting people know that you can’t give away free copies helps set the expectation that your work is something worth paying for.
Finally, true supporters will understand and respect your decision. Friends and family who genuinely care about your success should be happy to purchase your book and even help spread the word about it. If they expect something for free and make you feel guilty for saying no, it’s a sign they may not fully appreciate the work you’ve put in. By valuing your own work, you set the standard for how others should value it too.
Giving away too many free copies can also hurt your potential sales, especially if you’re a self-published or independent author. Every book sold contributes to rankings, reviews, and word-of-mouth marketing, which are crucial for success. While it’s tempting to think that giving away books will encourage people to talk about them, the reality is that people often place more value on things they pay for. If a friend or family member is truly interested in your book, they should be willing to purchase it and support your writing career. Or at least borrow it from someone else who had purchased it.
Another reason to avoid feeling pressured is that not everyone who asks for a free copy will actually read it. Many people are simply curious or want something for free without fully appreciating the effort that went into creating it. When someone buys a book, they are more likely to read and engage with it. If you want feedback or reviews, it’s often better to provide review copies to dedicated readers or bloggers who are genuinely invested in reading and discussing your work.
It’s also important to set boundaries as a writer. If you give free copies to one person, others might expect the same treatment, and it can quickly spiral into giving away more books than you intended. Politely but firmly letting people know that you can’t give away free copies helps set the expectation that your work is something worth paying for.
Finally, true supporters will understand and respect your decision. Friends and family who genuinely care about your success should be happy to purchase your book and even help spread the word about it. If they expect something for free and make you feel guilty for saying no, it’s a sign they may not fully appreciate the work you’ve put in. By valuing your own work, you set the standard for how others should value it too.
